Friction. As per General Physics, friction is a resistance encountered when one body moves relative to another body with which it is in contact. Or in simpler words, disagreement or conflict; Conflict, as between persons having dissimilar ideas or interests; clash. There is a concept that goes hand in hand with friction – Resistance. Resistance to move, resistance to change, to an extent that at times there is also some resistance to respond. One would rather lie still and watch how the other responds before they can make a move, sometimes in order to modify their act accordingly, while sometimes to know how to feel in a trivial situation.

Why is friction caused? In the simplest of words, trying not to angry science, it is caused due to a difference in properties, a difference in traits if I may say. This difference leading to disagreement leading to establishment of opposite perspectives leading to a clash and often in the end resulting in walking away in different directions. History is witness to our ever-changing wants and desires. Everything we wanted yesterday, every materialistic thing, we no longer desire. Reason being either we got it or something better came up or we simply lost interest. A lot of decisions we make in life are to achieve these things mostly. For example, we pick a certain job because it pays better, we pick a certain course because it seems to facilitate a stable and flourishing career, we pick a certain brand because of a certain status symbol to be maintained and not the comfort always, to an extent that we choose to spend time with connections and not family and friends. Don’t get me wrong. I know you are feeling a certain sense of friction as you read this because you think I am going to talk about people over materialistic things, which I am not. In fact it is these things that inspired me and helped me get the connect I needed.

It is true we move on from one thing to another for a better prospect, a better use, better quality and various other logical reasons. Now let’s talk about people. When someone resigns from an organization, there is friction. When someone expresses their opinion about you or on what you did or  about something that matters to you and it is not what you wanted to hear, there is friction. When your friend disagrees with you, there is friction. When someone ends a relationship, there is friction. When someone withdraws from the social circle they have been a part of, there is friction. In all of the above instances, we look for a replacement. A replacement that suits us better. And in the process we undermine the value of this person who decided to move on. In order to satisfy ourselves and feel free of any guilt or mistake on our part for anything that we did, we think they weren’t good enough or that there will be someone better who can fill in their shoes or anything that helps us feel better without realizing it was us who chose this person to fit into those shoes. People grow with time, they face different situations on a daily basis, take different learnings from life and based on all this respond differently. This doesn’t make them any less of a person. What makes one shallow is when you try to negate the existence of the other being, you think you need a better replacement when all you really need is someone to fill the void created because of someone’s exit.

Be it an organization or be it life, one thing is constant. Change. Circumstances change. People change. Desires change. Needs change. People come and people go. Only you are going to be with yourself always. Value people as a whole, only then can you learn from them and make yourself better. Friction and resistance are unavoidable, but learn from it, accept the change, accept people, accept the fact that some people need to take a step away from you, make peace. Look for inspiration, don’t look for replacement. Value who was there, value the one who made a difference, irrespective of big or small. Realize when life does not turn out the way you wanted it, it is for your good, and be able to accept that when people don’t turn out the way you wanted them to, it is for a bigger reason than a better life, or a better person or a better replacement that you look for.

It is just different experiences and different learnings. So maybe instead of looking for a better life with better people we need to create a better life for the betterment of people. Maybe instead of thinking we deserve better, we take our learning from the experience and become better rather than bitter. Ask for forgiveness if you messed up, forgive the other if they messed up, make peace with yourself, find out what is causing the friction, if there is too much resistance then move on, but don’t move on looking for a better replacement, move on working towards becoming a better person, move on to…

A Better You!

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